Lunar New Year

I was able to enjoy the Lunar Holiday with two other teacher friends, Kayla and Francie and our friend Young. Young is from Busan, Korea and invited us to spend the weekend in Busan with her family. We took off early Saturday morning on the 24th and headed to the coastal city of Busan. The climate, hills and location are very similar to that of San Francisco. This holiday is one of the most revered in Korea so many people travel back home to be with their families.

We went out the first night with Young’s friends from high school. Though Young said most of them don’t drink too much they sure opened up to us foreigners and showed us a good time. Kayla & I experienced our first Korean Club. It was quite interesting. Boys come with boys and stick to dancing in a group of boys. Girls do the same. There was a fine line between a Korean club with twenty something’s and a junior high dance. I couldn’t quite get my bearings. Our group was escorted to a table close to the dance floor and the stage. We did not hesitate to shake things up and challenge the norm. We were trying to share dance moves with the groups of boys-though they looked like they were going to pee themselves. I was doing my signature drop to the floor move when Young’s Korean friend whispered in my ear “that it was not a trend in Korea to do that…” I think that translates too ‘your dance moves are too provocative and you may get us kicked out.” So I refrained and opted for the step touch with melodic claps to go to the beat.

Different acts would come on stage and the girls would run to be in the front row like high school girls. The performers would lip sync to cheesy Korean pop songs and the girls would go wild if a little skin was shown. Towards the end a group of men came out and stripped down to thongs and aviators. After dancing with some Korean girls and secretly showing them my drop move (which they loved and emulated) we realized we had overstayed our welcome. So we decided to get a love motel. Now a love motel, which is quite common in Korea, serves a great purpose for all young lovers. It is a place to go to and have a little rendezvous. After witnessing the awkwardness of the young men and women at this Korean Club, I am not sure how a man lures a woman to come to a love motel with him but I do know it happens often.

Sunday morning we headed to Young’s family’s house. Her mother and father were so welcoming though we could not communicate. Their apartment was modest. Three bedrooms, living room and a kitchen. Her parents slept on the floor in their bedroom and they never turned on the heat. Young has three sisters and a brother. We took a little nap and headed to the beach. We had some Outback Steakhouse (which I have never been to in the U.S) and enjoyed some beers. We can back home and had some Soju and wine with her mother before going to bed.

Monday morning is the actual Lunar holiday. A feast is prepared and the family bows to their ancestors. A large table of food is prepared and Young and her brother took a piece of food from each dish that would be scarified for her father’s deceased parents. The ceremony and bowing was elaborate and a piece of food from all the dishes was used in this ceremony. Young’s mother did the same for her family but her sacrifice was much smaller. A tiny table was used with only several dishes that food was taken from and sacrificed. We experienced for the first time the traditional practices and underlying sexism deeply rooted in Korean culture. Young explained that the reason many families want a son is because when a family has a daughter they know that one day she will marry and become part of her husband’s family. She will then take part in ceremonies and holidays with him and his family. That is why on this Lunar New Year holiday only Young (because she is not married) and her brother were at the house. Her three sisters (who are married) were celebrating with their husband and husband’s family. Parent’s wish for a son so when he is married their daughter-in-law can prepare food and practice the rituals and sacrifices for her husband’s family once they have passed away. It took them four tries to have a son. A part of me felt sorry for women in Korea. Knowing that the day a female is born a parent’s reaction is most likely “we have to try again.”

After the ceremony we bowed to her parent’s as a sign of respect and received some money. Her parents wished for us good health and happiness for the coming year. We then ate lots of amazing food with her family. We had the duk gook soup, which has rice noodles. It is eaten every Lunar New Year and the soup makes you turn a year older.

We then traveled an hour away to meet her uncle who is a monk. We visited the temple he lives at and walked all over the beautiful site. Her uncle invited us in for some tea and greeted us with some farts. It set the mood and made the atmosphere quite comfortable. He definitely didn’t fit the mold I envisioned of a monk. But I enjoyed that. He was witty and had charm. He asked why my face was so small and made fun of my friends for “looking pregnant”. For a monk he seemed to live a pretty nice life. He had access to Internet, TV, and music. Instead of us asking him questions related to life he spent most of the time asking us questions and inquiring about our thoughts. He asked who we thought were the four most important people in the world and other such provoking questions. It was an amazing experience.

That night I went to my first Jjim Jil Bang which is a Public Bath equipped with a sauna and hot bathes. The women and men have separate areas and everyone is naked walking about. I was a bit nervous to just go all out and expose myself….but at some point I figured if Korean women were going to make fun of my goods…at least I couldn’t understand them. The bathes were relaxing; ranging in temperature, style and salts. There was also a steam room and a place to shower and scrub yourself. There was lots of staring taking place as the older Korean women seemed intrigued by young foreign chicks bodies and the places we did or did not have hair… I have to stay we were curious too. It is difficult not to stare when everyone is naked. And it was hard not to notice how little they shave in certain areas…I’ll let you imagine the rest…

Later, we went back to Young’s house and spent time with her two sisters and their families. Their husbands spoke English well and we laughed and drank an inappropriate amount of Soju. I learned (the hard way) that if someone pours you a shot of Soju and you finish the shot in one sip, your empty glass implies that you want more. So after 6 or 7 shots, my friend Kayla informed me that if I didn’t want Young’s brother-in-laws to keep pouring me shots then I should sip slowly…who knew? After drinking and laughing and trying to communicate we all ventured to Norebong-a karaoke room. Young’s parents, her second sister and family (including 2 adorable young boys Andrew and Alan) and her other brother-in-law all joined in for an evening at Norebong. We sang and danced to Korean songs, American jams and even the Korean National song. It was my first Norebong experience and definitely memorable. Though I am not one to carry a tune, I did seem to enjoy busting out some tunes…this was possibly due to my abundance of soju consumption. We ended the night by enjoying some Makkoli (rice liquor) and the Andrew and Alan ages 9 and 7 were still lively and enjoying some too!

My experience in Busan with Young and her family was more than I could have asked for. We were able to experience the holiday through the eyes of a Korean family. Her family was so warm and welcoming and it was a weekend that will for sure be one of the most memorable times in Korea.